


Touchy Feely.

by yawnnnn



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Awkward Romance, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Despair Era (Dangan Ronpa), Despair Komaeda Nagito, Emotions, Enoshima Junko Being Enoshima Junko, Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kamukura Izuru Has Feelings, Kamukura Izuru is trying so badly, Kissing, Komaeda Nagito As The Servant, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito Needs a Hug, Komaeda Nagito's Luck Cycle, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Pre-Relationship, Remnants of Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Romance, Romantic Fluff, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Teen Romance, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Warning: Enoshima Junko, again its complicated, he really is, it's complicated - Freeform, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27543697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yawnnnn/pseuds/yawnnnn
Summary: It all happens because of that damned Q&A session. Izuru becomes a flirt, Nagito unknowingly? Knowingly. tries to kill himself thrice, and in the end, they have a discussion about their feelings.
Relationships: Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Pekoyama Peko, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 121





	Touchy Feely.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic originally sprouted from my idea of basically making a cosplay panel, but if we replaced the cosplayers with the remnants of despair. It took a large turn from that, going from tooth rotting fluff to a mix of light fluff and crippling angst. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> I am determined to bring new content to the Kamukoma tag even if I am a one man army.

“So, to unite the masses into that oh so lovely despair, I need you all to do a little Q&A for me. Got it?” she gave a toothy smile to the remnants, malicious intentions leaking out through her smooth and doll-like pores. 

Izuru scoffed, a ridiculous event, but he’d only get into a plethora of trouble by refusing to participate. He turned to the rest of those despair riddled persons, who all seemed to be rather compliant, other than the impatient blondes of kimonos and business suits. Of them all, Servant seemed enthusiastically reluctant as always, his ever so repetitive mutterings of undeservingness bouncing off the dilapidated walls and into his ears. That insane fashionista had commanded him to convince everyone, so he approached Servant, void of any reason aside from that.

“Servant. You will come to the event. You are obligated to.” He turned around, savoring the rare silence from the albino, until said silence was broken.

“Thank you for informing me, Kamukura-kun. But  _ she  _ only said that the remnants were supposed to come, and you know as well as I do that I’m hardly fit for such a title, aha! You’ve already discovered I haven’t even fallen into despair properly, let alone believe in its sole rule over the world… I’m just biding my time with despair until true  _ hope  _ rises from among it...” 

Izuru remained in silence, mind running over which option of speech would be best to convince Servant to give in to Enoshima’s demand. It was true, he wasn’t really in true despair, and Izuru had been the first and only one to notice. Enoshima was too ignorant to care, and Ikusaba spent more time as her bodyguard than as a functioning human being. 

“...Kamukura-kun? I was trying to say that besides that fact, the session is in ten minutes and due to this luck of mine, I tripped and fell in the mud before hearing about this. Hardly a suitable appearance for a ‘remnant,’ if that’s what you’d like to call me. Now, I’ll be goi--” 

Izuru interrupted. He wouldn’t let Servant escape this, no matter how eager he appeared. “I can fix your hair. There’s a river nearby and we can find you a change of clothes at the abandoned clothing store two meters west from the other side of the bridge that faces north. Come.” Not awaiting a response, he grabbed Servant by those reliable chain links and whisked him away to the river. He didn’t have to glance back to notice that Servant was smiling to himself. The corners of his mouth twitched up, and although it was a natural response, he couldn’t deduce why.

\---

“Kamukura-kun, why are you doing this?” Servant sighed wistfully as his damp hair was kneaded and pulled by those dexterous hands. The constant movements ceased for a moment before resuming, and Izuru spoke.

“Originally it was because Enoshima ordered me to.” His train of thought crashed and it gave Servant a moment to lament. “But. Going this far was unnecessary, as the plan I had in mind was to drag you there by force. I am not able to provide an answer for these actions of mine at the moment.” Izuru huffed as those rare fingertips of frustration curled around his mind. Why was he giving out sympathy to Servant? It was, in a sense, pointless. 

Servant let out a weak chuckle as he leaned into Kamukura’s hands on his curly white tereses. “Not able to provide an answer, huh? That’s odd, I thought you knew everything, Kamukura-kun.” A pause. “...does that mean you’re entertained right now?” A hopeful smile. 

An expected response. “More agitated than entertained, to be honest. Though, this itchy straining feeling is slightly above the usual, so in the end it’s entertaining in its own way.” Izuru mused, and the smile on Servant’s face didn’t drop by a millimeter. 

Izuru felt oddly contempt walking with Servant to the clothing store, and when Servant retreated behind a torn and lopsided curtain to switch out old rags with new rags, he could’ve sworn he felt the body temperature in the area around his cheeks escalate by a degree or two.

\---

The walk down the hallway to the Q&A room was an unhurried one, without regard for the amount of time that was left to arrive there. Servant trailed behind him, footsteps quick but short in length. Izuru’s hair lifted slightly when he heard shouting down the hall.

“Alright, place your bets on if my Izuru and that worthless servant will arrive in the next three minutes! Hmmm… I say that if they arrive on time, I’ll have my stupid sister murder everyone who betted otherwise, and if they don’t, I’ll just kill the two of them! Can I get a ‘yeeeaaahhh!!’ to that?” He could practically see hips swaying and an obnoxiously red skirt waving at that sentence, as multiple discordant ‘yeahs’ echoed throughout the room. 

Truly, it was daring of her to assume that it was within her reach to even lay a finger on him, but Servant was where this all became a problem.He of course knew that they’d make it before the three minutes finished, but he also knew what Servant was about to say as he tugged on Izuru’s dark blazer.

“Kamukura-kun, you go in. I’ll stay out here…” Servant seemed anxious, scared to let go of that small pinch of fabric. Ready yet again to sacrifice himself for others’ sakes. Izuru shook his head in disagreement, and Servant outwardly cringed. “Enoshima only invited those higher up in her despair ladder, people who all hold such amazing talent, and for me to cause some of those people to die--” Izuru placed a firm hand on Servant’s trembling shoulder in hopes of giving him some semblance of what regular people would call ‘comfort’ and when he turned to face the chained monstrosity his gaze was not met.

“It will be fine, Servant. No one will die. Steady your breathing and follow me inside.” And before Servant could raise a finger, in the small amount of time he had left, Izuru pulled out a talent to expertly massage his shoulders, throwing him into a deliriously relaxed state of mind. Through lidded eyes, Servant followed Izuru hand in hand, deprecatory thoughts vanished.

As soon as they entered the room, Enoshima’s eyes lit up with that dangerous fire that had thrown the world into ruin. “Gasp! What an unexpected twist of events!? Okay okay, I’m bored of that now, go ahead and shoot them before they run away, Muk--”

Izuru left Servant standing on the stage, frozen in horror. He made his movements swift and unreadable, disarming Ikusaba in an instant. Enoshima simply burst into laughter, and while she was preoccupied with that eardrum-harming sound, Izuru managed to sufficiently rid the room of anything capable of murder. Ignoring the shouts of outrage rising from the crowd, Izuru fled across the room and back to Servant, and flicked him on the forehead, once again placing Servant’s hand in his own. He noted that this was the first time he’d felt the sensation known as ‘being willing to serve.’ Ironic, considering the albino’s name.

“Hey, the hell was that for, dumbass? I wanted to see all these pathetic fanboys meet their end!” Saionji screeched, standing up from her seat, notably not including the term ‘fangirls’ in that sentence. Of course.

“Like Hiyoko said, Ibuki wants to know why Mr. Boooooring would waste his ‘precious time’ on saving those unimportant scoundrels!” A tongue stuck out menacingly, accompanied by a guitar riff sounded equivalent to that of chalk dragging across an extra irritating chalkboard.

“My my, could it be that our fabled Ice King Izuru did it for our oddly attractive Servant? We all see you holding hands, how dirty...” Brown eyebrows wiggled in mock suspense. Izuru discarded this comment to the side.

“Go on, zuzu! Explain to everyone why you prevented despair from occurring! I’d like to know too…” Strawberry blonde pigtails bounced with her words.

Izuru mulled over his answer.

“You did tell me that all remnants must attend the meeting, so that true despair could be furthered along its path, and if I didn’t prevent that much more miniscule despair event from occuring, then Servant would not have come. Plus, it puzzles me as to why, but I found an interest in doing this.” Izuru glared, squeezing Servant’s hand tighter. Servant tried to pull away, but not from disgust. 

“Uuugh, you’re SUCH a bore zuzu…. It would’ve been so much more fun if you had just.. Let. me. Kill. them. “ Enoshima growled, but Izuru didn’t bother to feel the least bit threatened. “Tsk, tsk, buuuut I guess we found out that my little zuzu has the hots for Servant? What an unexpected outcome, am I right guys and gals?? I’m jealous...” 

The crowd roared, and upon further inspection, Izuru came to see that Enoshima had lied. The higher ups of the despair were not present, rather, there seemed to be an abundance of ecstatic teenagers. Izuru glanced at Enoshima questioningly, but a split second later the realization hit that she’d probably never answer. Ikusaba ushered him and Servant to their seats, and Izuru was less than euphoric to find that he was sitting at Enoshima’s right hand, and that Servant was on the other side of the room, right in the middle of the most violent members of the remnants, Owari and Nidai.

Whether it were a case of his bad luck, or just that rotten Enoshima’s seating chart, was beyond him. 

Ah, well. Too much effort to move his chair over there anyways. 

Servant seemed nervous though, and Izuru felt his heart rate go up by 2 bpm. Another physical reaction caused by that person.

“Okay, remnant fans, the first activity of this ‘Q&A’ is gonna beeeee…! Uh. Truth or Dare! Just because I feel like it! Actually I’m gonna change the rules up! You get to be truth or dared by an audience member! That should get you guys excited, right?” Enoshima’s voice was extremely deafening, so much that it would give the below average person a blaring headache. Not Izuru, though. 

“Alright, the one with the weird-ass clown patches on your beanie! you’re first!” Enoshima pointed at a girl in the audience, no more than one or two years younger than all of them. The girl snickered and raised her finger to point.

“Yeah, this should be fun. Imma go with the one having a massive headache over there. I dare you to screech into her loud as hell microphone and see how much you can make your eardrums bleed.” The crowd seemed to take delight in that.

Izuru had other ideas.

'The one having a massive headache over there' was Servant, and it didn't take his Ultimate Doctor talent to know that if he followed through with this, there would be some serious, and considering his condition, possibly even fatal repercussions. 

Izuru glanced in Servant's direction, and upon realizing that the seat was empty, he felt his heart rate go up by 20 bpm, as well as several beads of sweat form on his skin. His eyes even narrowed a bit. That was fresh. 

With each of Servant's malicious footsteps towards the microphone stand, Izuru's physical reactions became increasingly nervous towards the practically suicidal male. 

Without thinking, Izuru stood up from his chair and sprinted over to Servant. The albino's breath hitched and he turned around, immediately relaxing when he came into contact with Izuru's flowing black waterfalls of hair. Izuru clasped both of Servant's hands in his own, one gloved and one pale. He looked Servant in the eye, and for once his gaze was returned. 

"Servant. I don't care how little you value your life. You are to stop this behaviour at once. This is the equivalent of walking on the edge of a building." Izuru glared. He no longer cared for calculating the reasons behind his movements, the matter at hand seemed to take priority in his mind.

Servant was melancholy and bittersweet with his words. “It’s not as if I haven’t already attempted that, Kamukura-kun. Aha! I remember one time you caught me from a balcony before I could hit the ground, my luck truly is the stuff of legends… and besides, with all these talented people asking me to? How could I  _ possibly  _ say no?” Servant gave a dry and chapped smile, and Izuru scowled. 

He grabbed Servant by his fabric enveloped shoulders, shook him out of his distraught daze, and lifted him up into his arms. Servant gave a violent shudder, as if he wasn’t used to being touched. Izuru noted that those pale cheeks grew a sickly red at the notion.

He walked over to Servant’s seat, and upon realizing the opportunity to, stepped on the wire to the microphone and tore it into two pieces with his other foot. Electricity crackled and sparks drifted aimlessly through the tense space before diffusing into nothingness. He adjusted Servant’s position to be lifted with only his left arm (an easy feat) and then grabbed Servant’s chair. Placing the chair next to his own, he set Servant back into his seat and sat down back in his own chair, right next to him. Mission accomplished.

Their ever so irritating spectators seemed exhilarated at his actions, ‘oohh's and ‘aahh's spiraling all around. Well, he had either predicted that would happen or that they would be upset. This was the preferable outcome, Izuru supposed. 

Izuru allowed himself to focus. Why had he just done all that? It wasn’t efficient nor logical, and even if he really wanted to say it was of ‘human emotion,’ he couldn’t detect anything. He had just felt an urge in his body to help Servant, so he’d gotten up to do it. Perhaps it was because he was rather close to Servant? They’d traveled throughout Towa city together, although it was more Izuru minding his own business and Servant trailing behind delightedly. Now that he thought about it, it would be an inconvenience if the only remnant he could tolerate were to die like this. That must be it.

“SIIIIIIMP!” came a strangled voice. A dark hand was raised. “Despair-sama, can I ask a question, pretty please?” 

Enoshima, with a touch of jealousy in her hyperbolized voice, agreed, and the dark skinned male spoke again. “Alrighty, I dare… you, with the wicked hair dye!” Mioda sparked up in her seat. Throw your shoes into the audience, and whoever catches them gets to touch your… hair horns? I don’t really know what to call them.” A whisper came. “And maybe let me touch them too?” Izuru gave a slight nod. That was a surprisingly harmless request for a despair-filled person, but if they kept giving requests like that last girl, he might just get up and leave, Servant behind him. 

Ibuki was perfectly willing, and ‘hair horn’ patting ensued. A couple more requests were thrown out, like ‘I dare Kuzuryuu to say voice lines from  _ Boss Baby,’  _ ‘Truth. The one with the sword, why did you start laughing when Kuzuryuu was doing his dare?’ and ‘Truth. Teruteru, rate all of the remnants, including Enoshima-sama, from 1 to 10 in looks.’ Many more spilled out from the audience’s mouths, but all of them were dull, boring, predictable, and any other synonym of those.

The next request, however, was rather eventful. It came from someone with white hair that faded to green this time, who seemed oblivious and airheaded at a glance. “Hey, I think we’ve all seen how flustered.. Um.. what’s his name? That one is, so why not you two just kiss already? It’s a dare.” Her boyfriend with choppy black bangs and radiant amber eyes gave a toothy smile, and added on to her statement. “Oh, oh! And I dare Koizumi to take a picture and print out a copy for all of us!” The crowd cheered. Izuru lightly rolled his eyes. This was going to take a lot of convincing. 

Not convincing on his part, rather, the menial task was easy to perform for him. It was Servant destined to refuse the offer, and his prediction became reality as Servant stood up from his chair.

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline, miss. You see--"

The clown pin girl, who'd placed the first dare shouted from the back. "Shit man, so you'll accept a suicide attempt but not a kiss with a hot guy? Damn, what an icon…" She was definitely the rude type. Servant didn't react well to their side comment, but pulled it together (uncommon for him, if Izuru was to be honest) and waved his hands in denial. 

"Not because I wouldn't like to, no that's not the case at all! Rather, Kamukura-kun is too full of talent and hope for someone like me… I'm sure he wouldn't consent to this, and even if he did, it would be a lie. Haha!" Servant's scratchy voice was drowned out by mutterings near the end, and Izuru wasn't quite sure if Servant understood the consequences of his words.

Actually, it would make sense either way. Servant wouldn't particularly be concerned about the backlash, would he? Well, it couldn't be helped. Servant wouldn't mind if Junko killed him for not following through with the dare, in the end. However. He'd already endeavored enough time into keeping Servant's lethal mentality alive and going, and to abandon it would be unfitting of him.

"Mahiru, prepare to take the photo. Come, Servant, let's make this quick." 

"Awwww!" The original dare giver gave a wholesome squeal, and teasing from the choppy banged boy ensued. 

Servant blinked. Once, twice. "Kamukura-kun, it's fine, really!" Servant grimaced, looking away from Izuru as if for some reason he was attempting to conceal the heat rising from his cheeks. "There's no need to." 

Izuru made his effort brisk but gentle, as if handling a small kitten, or an expensive vase. He held Servant's cheek in his hand, and made the Servant look at him before pulling him in for a plain and simple kiss. Servant broke the eye contact they had, his cheeks becoming red and full of life as he leaned into Izuru's hand and glanced aside. And as Izuru gingerly pulled the other closer and closer, he felt his lips part and a nervous stirring in the pit of his stomach. He'd heard people often felt this way at their first kiss but he wasn't sure if he could understand it. Wasn't sure? That was uncommon. And then they finally connected, and with Servant's-- Komaeda's-- soft lips pressed against his own, Izuru's eyes widened in wonder, and it was beyond him to calculate or predict anything that happened after that. 

Several small sensations fluttered around the back of Izuru's mind and through his nerves, and his eyes widened even further through the fleeting five seconds that their lips connected in that basic human gesture. There was still something strange about all of these tasks he was performing for Servant, but he hadn't constructed a specific theory for it yet.

Servant squeaked at the disconnection, and threw his hands over his face and turned away. Izuru could easily hear small giggles of desperation escape those recently used lips, and didn't bother to inquire for an explanation.

"Truth! Truth! I call truth!! Hey, raven demon guy, did you just enjoy that? I don't think I've ever seen an expression on your face rather than 'dot' 'underscore' 'dot'. And then… hey Despair Waifu! Are two questions allowed?" 

Enoshima seemed bored out of her mind. She nodded, not even paying attention to the words of the other.

"Okay, then, I also ask you that out of all the people in this room, Despair Waifu included, who would you wish to kiss most?" The client gave a wicked smile. Izuru didn't care. 

"I believe that, analyzing my physical reactions, the logical conclusion would be that I am satisfied with what just happened. And to answer the latter, I would like to kiss Servant again, but longer." His voice was drowned out by the hellish screams of the teenagers. "It would allow me to experiment more." He placed his hands over Servant's ears, not wanting another headache situation. 

Servant latched onto his hands, pressing them harder against his skull, a symptom of wanting to escape the noise.

Everything finally died down. 

"Zuzu, sorry, but I'm kicking you and Servant out…. Ugh. All the truths and dares are going to you guys and none to me! It gets me jealous, you know?" Enoshima jokingly fiddled with her hair, and fluttered her eyelashes, and brushed fingers against those over glossed lips. 

Izuru was usually neutral towards most things, but he didn't like lipstick, especially the particular shade on Enoshima’s mouth. Giving Enoshima a frank reminder that they weren't her fantasy lovers, Izuru exited the building shortly after Servant, who had previously sprinted out, hands once again covering his face.

\---

It didn't take long to locate the flustered boy. He was sitting near the river in nearly the exact same coordinates they had before the Q&A. His socks and shoes lay on the cracked cement, and his pants were rolled up to his knees, allowing him to kick and splash his feet in the most likely polluted water.

With further examination, the water wasn't polluted. That one's luck was at it again. Servant didn’t seem to notice his presence until he progressed further, and finally with a tap on his shoulder, those feet stopped swinging back and forth. Servant seemed as if he already knew who had approached him, and glanced aside, resuming the splashing of the water with his lower legs. Izuru remained silent until further notice, coming to the conclusion that it would be beneficial to wait for Servant to speak first.

“Kamukura-kun… you’ve been a little out of your head today. Going out of your way to help me wash my hair and change my clothes, preventing me from performing that dare with the microphone, picking me up like a bride, sitting next to me, covering my ears when it got too loud.” A burst of insane laughter followed, and Izuru continued waiting. “And not to mention that above it all, you even kissed me! Tell me, what reward are you trying to get by being so touchy feely with trash like me?” A dead smile. 

Well, first and foremost, ‘a little out of his head’ had probably been the greatest insult Servant had ever given to Izuru in his life. That was new. But what about Servant’s question? Had Izuru truly been that ‘touchy feely?’ Well, considering his actions, he thought for a moment that Nagito had been right about the ‘touchy’ part. Then, when confronted with the ‘feely’ segment, something within Izuru finally clicked. He sat down next to Servant, knees up to his chest in thought, until he finally gave an answer.

“Thank you, Servant. I think you finally helped me realize what’s been occurring with my emotional process.” 

Servant blinked, then gave an unbelieving smile. “I doubt I helped at all, it was probably just you, Ultimate Hope… what did you find out? I am rather curious.” Servant kept staring ahead.

“I feel as if there is a disconnect.”

“Ah. I’m still confused. Go on?”

“If I trace back all my actions from today, I believe I performed them all by physical instinct, physical reaction, or just my body telling me to get up and move. My facial expression even changed, experiencing sweat and the widening of eyes.” Izuru sighed, then continued. “I never felt an emotion in my brain, though. I could feel my body reacting to what the emotions of worry and anger would be, but I don’t think I ever felt those.” 

“So it appears that you can’t touch on your emotions yet, but your body still responds the same way. Like a human that has been told by others it is a robot.That’s… how tragic.”

“Yes.” 

“Aha! No need for this melancholic silence! When I met you, you didn’t react to anything through instinct whatsoever, always saw it coming. So, maybe if you keep experiencing places, meeting new people, trying new things, then--”

“I may be able to gain emotions. That’s what you think, correct?” They were staring at each other now. 

“Interrupting my words, a classic Kamukura-kun staple. It’s comforting, the way you do that.” He smiled. Izuru felt the urge to bring the corners of his mouth up again.

A clement wind blew through the riverside, and water rippled and twirled around in an elegant dance. Izuru gazed at the bridge, which curved over the channel of water like a rainbow into the sky. Said sky was even a rare blue, partly cloudy and a bright color compared to the dull ones that were all around these days. Perhaps Enoshima had brought them all inside to prevent them from seeing such serene weather. 

“Then I’m sure you’ll agree to this. Servant, stay with me.” Servant placed a hand over his mouth in gentle, unsure shock. “I would like to build some semblance of an intimate relationship with you.” Izuru reached over and grabbed the male’s hand, and Servant relaxed into the touch. 

Servant opened his mouth to speak. Izuru raised a finger to quiet him. 

“Before you give your rebuttal, allow me to explain why this is the most efficient option. You always have some goal in mind, and you’ve definitely been less standstill than me. Traveling with you will allow me to experience new places. As for meeting new people, we’ll find them along the way, and your luck will definitely enable me to try new things. All part of the plan in your head to bring me emotions, right? The intimate relationship part? After spending time analyzing my physical reactions, most of them would imply that if I were to have feelings, I would be in love with you. I would like that. And, since you’re the only one I even react to in the first place, so my emotional growth will be best placed in your care. Convinced?” He felt solace in this feeling of dependency, of desperation.

Feeling of dependency? Desperation? He had felt a feeling just now. Interesting. Not boring. 

“With that spiel, you could say you have me willing.” Servant muttered shakily, yet Izuru could still hear. “Think we could start with this, then?” Servant pressed a gentle kiss to Izuru’s cheek, and pulled away immediately, nervous and unsure. They’d really have to work on lengthening the time of that. Practice makes perfect. 

Servant looked Izuru in the eye determinedly, but flushed and glanced at the river before he was able to utter a syllable. 

“I love you Kamukura-kun. You don’t have to respond, I just thought it might help to let you know--”

“I love you too, Nagito.” 

With a chaste kiss to Nagito’s forehead, Izuru felt warm.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Did you like it? I thought it was kinda cute.
> 
> I'm talking to myself.
> 
> "I would like to kiss Servant again, but longer." - Kamukura 2020


End file.
